Monday, April 6, 2009

One in Many

A classroom at York University
I've been feeling down lately, because I know that every time I walk into a class I'll feel dumb at one point or every minute I'm there. I keep wondering what I'm doing there and what I could get out of it. My mind is always blank on the subject. Many times I thought of dropping out of school and going out into the world to work, but the words my grandmother told my father plays in my head: "it's better to have attended school than not." I don't know what I want to do with myself anymore. People continue to suggest things for me to do, but I know I won't be able to do them because I know what I'm capable of and those weren't. I tried to find myself in one of those self discovering ventures, but it didn't work no matter how many times I did them. The only things I have to live for is my family and possible future children.


  1. Haha. l'm using the DSi to post this comment.

  2. It's so comforting to know there's someone else feeling the same way. This year was my first year of university and I was so unbelievably overwhelmed. I, too, felt dumb in a few of my science courses and I threw away my ambition to get into medical school.
    In my first semester, there were a few classes that made me ask the same thing.. 'Should I drop out?' 'What am I even in school for?'. But over the Christmas break I rethought out my future plan. I set realistic goals, enrolled in only 3 courses this term and decided to focus on those - even if it means finishing school later than others. And I'm honestly doing so much better and when I do get those marks I studied long and hard for, it's a surge of motivation that changes everything and then I can actually go to class with confidence.
    Hope things works out for you with school!
    But I also do think about marrying a great guy and having a big family someday too :)

  3. I've heard of many people taking less courses per term, and they do very well. They too planned to spend more time in school, but I don't want to do that. I'd rather go into the workforce earlier.


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