Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Tomorrow's Yesterday

I've been thinking about writing a short fiction having two main characters meeting at a café every day for one week, with their conversations based on the pros and cons of the technology of Watches that people use in their time.

Watches are bands that attach to a person's skin. It tracks people's movements and location like a global positioning system does. Watches could be used as a computer, a phone, a music player, a recorder, a camera, and a map.

One of the main characters, a man, works as a security guard for the Watches company, while the other, a woman, is one of many leaders of the national resistence to Watches group. They don't know each other's occupation though. They meet when the man accidentally knocks over another citizen, causes a scene, and the woman comes in to break up the argument.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Looking Ahead

We'll miss what we miss,
and when we die
we die.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

So much it Hurts

So, I've been feeling sad and scared. Sad and scared. SS. I'm sad because I feel like a useless dumb loser that cannot do anything beneficial for myself. I'm scared because I know that what I do and don't do will severely be embedded into my memory in the future and disturb me in its own painful way. Maybe I should just waste my life by sleeping more often. If I do, I'd probably begin to feel more refreshed and active to the point of falling asleep again.

I want a hug every hour from someone I'm comfortable with.

Friday, March 27, 2009


I want to be forever forgotten.

I often think about how lucky another person is when they commit suicide.

Does that make me an awful person?

I want to tell them congratulations.

Does that make me an awful person?

Am I even alive?

How does it feel to be alive?

Searching for Mysteries

Sometimes I go out at night to look for things: any thing that moves, or looks unfamiliar. I like taking walks out at night and early in the morning, because it makes me feel like I'm there, but I don't exist anymore. It makes me feel immortal. I went out around 11:40 pm to look at the stars, dance in the dark, and sing alone. After 5 planes passed by, I came upong a skunk. It looked large at first, but when I followed it I saw that it was its tail that made it look large. I walked away from me and I was feeling cold, so I went to find my laptop to report this. The weather was not too warm and not too cold.

It was nice.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


The weather's been unpredictable these days. At first it was a nice sunny day. Next it was a cold breezy day. It rained in the morning and the evening. Then it was a sunny breezy day, and today it was a cold windy day. When I look up at the sky, I keep getting the feeling that it's going to snow.

Okay, so the weather's always been unpredictable. I like how it's unpredictable, excluding the days where it's so hot that you sweat a minute after leaving the house. I'm worried about how great climate change will become in the next decade.

Tall People

I get nervous and scared when a person who is taller than I is near. Sometimes I get frustrated, because I want to be tall myself. I feel bad though, because even though many of the tall people that try to start a conversation with me seem like friendly people, I become more silent than I usually am and I act coldly towards them. I feel like hiding when they stand next to me, or running away from them when they come towards me or if I see them. There are plenty of people who are taller than me in the area I live in, and I become stiff and silent with them. If I was taller, would I be afraid of people shorter than me?

Monday, March 16, 2009


I don't like insects being near me unless there's a glass between us. Since I've moved into residence, I've met more silverfish running around than I ever wanted to meet in my lifetime. I'm cruel to insects, and even though silverfish aren't very easy to find everyday outside of this old building, I try to kill them. I spray aerosol febreeze at them to the point where they stop moving. I'd spray some more because I feel like they'll suddenly come back to life.

I met two juvenile ones minutes ago, but I don't know what to do with their bodies. Maybe I'll vacuum them during the non-quiet hours of the bulding.

Cat Ears on the Subway

Every time I see a person wearing a hat or a hood with animal ears or something sticking out of it, I instantly believe that they like anime and or manga. I know I'm judging people (sometimes) badly that way, but I can't help it.

On Saturday I was waiting for the TTC subway train with my mother after visiting the Toronto Reference Library, and I saw a tall girl with a cat eared hat. I thought: "she's totally a fanatic, but who knows. She may surprise me." When the train arrived and I took a seat and the girl took a seat across from me, she whipped out a Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle comicbook (manga) from a plastic bag with the words: World's Biggest Bookstore. Sure enough, there were more similar shaped books in the bag. I felt a little disappointed that she didn't surprise me by not taking out a manga, but hey. It gave me a little proof that maybe most people who wear animal eared gear is a fan of some form of asian culture.

Friday, March 13, 2009


I haven't had a blood test since I was a baby, so it wasn't sure if I had a lab-tranceable disorder. When I got a blood test this month, it turns out I am anemic: iron deficiency from a large loss of blood during periods. I'm taking iron supplements now (ranges from $3 to $70 CDN--got it for $4 CDN), but I'm not sure if I'm suppose to watch my diet. I don't eat tomatoes or fruits, but the doctor said that what I eat isn't really the main cause of the deficiency and that the levels of all the other necessary nutrients are normal. Females having low iron in them is normal too.

If you're female, I suggest you get a blood test once a year. Close your eyes while the doctor's extracting blood if you don't like needles.

I failed AGAIN

Emphasis on the word "again" please, because I am currently 15% below average passing marks in the grading scheme. I rush too much, and now I'm failing. My grammer's becoming worse too. Sometimes I don't know what I'm trying to say. Students shouldn't procrastinate when an assignment has been assigned, but I do that anyways.

On another note, I was passing by a squirrel today, and it was making a croacking noise. Are squirrels suppose to be able to do that?

South Asian Mario Dance Party at York University

My friends and I were walking around York University's Vari Hall at 1 am for a cookie run when a group of people came out of a hallway pushing large decorations and wearing costumes. In the center of Vari Hall, the same people looked to be praticing a show with a Nintendo Mario theme mixed with South Asian dance styles. The music they danced to was a remix of a few pop songs, cultural music, and mario brother video game sounds. I would have recorded it if I brought my camera or camcorder with me.

What I want to know is what they were practicing for, because I would definitly look forward to seeing the final show.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


I spend a lot of time thinking about my parents' lives. I don't know much about their past, and when I ask them it's like they don't want to tell me. There are times when they talk about it. It's nice to hear their stories.

So I've got a presentation where I was suppose to interview people, but I kept forgetting about it and leaving it for later. It's due tomorrow afternoon. I'm angry with myself right now, yet starving for something I don't know: I'm hungry. My breath smells awful too.
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