Tuesday, April 5, 2011


I've been sleeping less than 4 hours a day these last two weeks. The worst case was 30 minutes of sleep. The only day I got to sleep 9 hours was Friday night to Saturday morning. I didn't think writing five 18-paged essays in two weeks on time would be that challenging if I already finished research. I ended up handing them all in 3 or 4 days late. I had smaller assignments due between those essays, an examination yesterday and one assignment due today. There's one more 18-paged essay due for Friday. I guess I should have spent more time on assignments the weeks before the last 2 weeks rather than sleeping, reading comics, going to lectures, doing readings, following the news, going to social meetings, practicing archery, and bathing. Hm... but I had assignments back then too. *sighs* I miss my 10 hours of sleep time.

In those two weeks, I noticed my body changing. No, it wasn't puberty--it was worse. My nerve system seems to be messed up: my hands and legs shake when I try to stand still. They used to not do that! My eye lids feel numb, my stomach makes noises 20 hours a day, something keeps shaking inside me below my rib cage, my shoulders are scrunched up, my face's skin is breaking out with bad acne, and my chest hurts. I keep seeing things that aren't there whenever I'm able to keep my eyes open, and I can't stand steady anymore. I find myself walking down hallways and stairs like a drunk! I won't be surprised if I die in the next week while studying for exams.

I hate how my family is having financial issues too. I have to get a job as soon as possible. I was planning on taking tree planting and gardening courses this summer but my parents gave me a bad look when I told them about it.

My invisible friend keeps asking me if I can die yet. Maybe, dear. Maybe.

I should stop wasting time on blogs...

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