Thursday, March 3, 2011

Pow to the Liar!!

           Someone told me I was lying about _____ today, and they were right. I am sure many people notice when I lie, but they don't tell me "you lied." It's such a rare occurance that I think I would like it when people point out I lied. Okay, maybe not--it would depend heavily on the subject I lied about.

           Most of my lies are spouted when I want to tell a bad joke about myself, something that I do or did, and when people assume something of me. For example, in elementary school my classmates used to ask people if they farted when they smell something bad. I used to always answer "no" because I feared I would be shut out from everyone even more than I already was if I answered "yes." I am sure many others have lied about not farting because almost everyone used to answer no. I say almost because there were cases where male classmates took pride in their farts and shared their glory with a few friendly laughs. Back then, cool girls didn't fart. They probably still don't. It took me awhile to figure out that I wasn't cool.

           Sometimes I tell people that I stalk people. I think I started using that joke when people commented on how I like to stalk people, but honestly, I cannot recall stalking anyone without their permission. I always happen to go the same direction or encounter familiar faces when I am on my way to somewhere. In high school I was asked if I was stalking a certain someone because I used to pop out of nowhere no matter where they were. I wasn't following them, because I only followed my friends to places around the school such as the library, cafeteria, locker area, and park. I used to take walks by myself in the far-away water playground behind the school and walk through hallways to get to specific classrooms. It's not my fault if the person was there before I was. I wouldn't stalk people I like, because I have a tendency to avoid people I like or who seem interested in what I do. As an introvert creepy coward-- if that makes sense-- I would capture or find a picture of people I like, stick with that one picture, then forget about it the next day. Telling people I stalk people is only a way of making an impression.

           I think my most common lie would be "fine" when people ask me how I am doing. I expect that they wouldn't want to hear about how I feel bad or depressed. I wouldn't want them to feel bad about asking how I am doing, and I don't like to share my major troubles with people. Answering "fine" with a smile would also mean not having to deal with people when I feel angry or miserable: it ends the chat quickly. People may notice that I lied about feeling fine, but they wouldn't suggest that I am not fine and should share my problems. It makes me smile.

I guess I enjoy telling the fine lies, ne? (Whatever that means.)

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