All of the Homo!

Whenever I'm out with the guys and they share bromantic speeches and actions, I can't help it: I have to smile. You'd think that amongst friends, everyone is having a great time when smiling, but they'd say otherwise. They hate it when I smile right after their bro-moments because they believe that I'm imagining them in a yaoi scene. It seems that to them, my happiness from real life bromance is the happiness I feel when reading a boy love (BL) story, which equates to yaoi. Their moments are heart-warming and lovely, so why can I not enjoy it? My love for bromance that spawned from shonen manga (especially those of the sports genre) and later again from BL manga brings much happiness to my life. If I am lucky enough to see a scene in real life that resembles a scene from a shonen story, I will smile! I don't care that they believe I'm imagining them in a gay scene, and they can tell me "no homo" as often as they like.

_{Image from chapter 19 of Denpa Kyoushi, by Azuma Takeshi. Chapter 19 was scanlated by S2Scans.}

Environmental Studies at York University: Year 3 and 4

Year 3: 2010-2011

The third year environmental studies courses were very informative (details-wise) with what's going on in the present world. Since they were more specific than the first and second year courses, I found them more interesting and straight forward. The assignments were fun to do, so I didn't mind spending days on each report. They took awhile to finish though, so I ended up handing in a few things late.

I was still part of YAMA and archery club, but I didn't participate in their events or practices often. I wanted to get more sleep at home because I was always tired. I've never slept before 12 AM since third grade, so I gave up time with university friends to be at home. I already spent about 4 hours each school day traveling between home and school, and I wanted to spend more time with my readings and assignments.

At the end of the year, I did pretty good (academically). I was also inspired by my instructors to go out and volunteer with different environmental groups, so I spent my summer doing volunteer work and looking for a job. The experiences I gained from volunteering were priceless.


Year 4: 2011-2012

When starting the new school year, it struck me that 3 years had quickly flew by. I was in my last year and I still had not decided on what I wanted to do after graduation! I decided to just concentrate on my studies in my last year and leave the worrying of looking for a job I would be happy with after graduation.

I took a 60% course load because I had already achieved the extra credits in past summer terms. And was I glad about that! It turned out that most fourth year courses took up more time than 3rd year courses. I even ended up spending 18 hours on campus one day just working in computer labs. Tiring, but totally worth the experience. I admit it: I had fun.

What I loved about the fourth year courses the most were the readings, and the team projects or group work, which were amazing!~ I won't give you the details, but let's say that they were as thrilling as having 99% EXP and almost reaching the next level.

I also enjoyed a non-credit interest group on systems thinking that had sessions every other week. They were like lectures with discussion in small groups, but the presentations for each session was presented by a different member of the group each time.


After

I've finished my exams now. It feels odd to know that I won't be returning to school in September and now having to make multiple resumes and cover letters. In the next few months, I know I'll miss the lectures, the campus, and most of all, the people that made my post-secondary school life.

First Sight

Love at first sight-- do you believe in it? I didn't think I would experience it until someone came up to me one day and asked me for something. I stared at them and thought: "is this love?"

Happened to me once. Never got to know the person.

_{Top image from chapter 1 of Mirai Nikki Paradox by Esuno Sakae. Chapter 1 scanlated into English by Twilight Dreams Scans.}

Apologize

I admit it-- I'm an ignorant person. When it comes to having a conversation with people, I never think before I say or do something. The thinking always comes after unless I was asked to think beforehand. There is no limit to how many hurtful words I could spout in the span of a minute. I often wonder if I should just keep my mouth shut, but it just won't close. Sometimes I find myself left with the feeling of guilt, other times indifference.

Which leads to this one issue that a friend of mine pointed out. I was talking with him one day when I suddenly chuckled at his words. He said something racist and I thought he meant it as a joke. Turns out it wasn't and I offended him. I told him I was sorry and he told me how it's not fair that girls can always half-heartedly apologize and get away with hurtful actions with a smile. What he told me made me think: "he's right!" Many females whom I've studied (I like watching people) usually get away with hurtful actions by smiling and apologizing. With males, not so much. Actually, most apologies I receive from males feel whole-hearted, serious, and warm. Maybe this is just an assumption based on my friend and I's experiences and observations, but it seems females like to use their cuteness to apologize more than males. Then again, there are those who just won't stop apologizing for almost everything they do, regardless of their gender. What do you think?

_{Top image from chapter 79 of Oresama Teacher by Tsubaki Izumi, scanlated by Panda Scans.}

The Open Road Ahead

Do you know what I think about almost everyday? "It's tough being an anime-manga fan," is what. Anime, manga, and comic goods are generally expensive when the prices are added up. Always wanting that next graphic novel volume, and deciding whether or not it's worth buying it at the cost of a decent meal, but it's not because of these factors that make me think about that line everyday: it's my wonder of what the future may hold.

After 18 years of being in school, I am finally near the end of my [expected] last school term... and I'm scared. I used to be confident at the end of each school year because I believed that as long as I worked hard, I could get to the next level or grade. Now, I don't know what that next level is. I didn't apply to a masters program because I knew that I'd eventually have to face the workforce, and the sooner the better. I need real everyday time-repeated-warp-like experience instead of studying and reading about all these different jobs and positions people hold. Given how much of an idiot I am, however, I may not land one of these jobs or positions.

You see, I haven't mass volunteered, been in internships, or held a job like my fellow classmates have these past 8 years of secondary to post-secondary school. I'm not as jaw-dropping amazing and hardworking as they are, so my resume wouldn't be as exciting as theirs. I've spent as much time on reading graphic novels and sleeping as I have on school.

Aside from an exciting resume, my main concern lies with my skills and connections. Many of my classmates are able to understand concepts and create solutions easily and quickly, while I take a long time to accomplish anything. I've worked with other students before: it took me an hour to write a page while it took them half of that time. My writing style's also very simple. ... At least, I believe it is. Being someone who likes to shut them-self in their room also doesn't help with the type of field I studied in. I'm not a good people person. I get nervous when I have to talk to people. I overreact when I talk. Environmental studies requires communication between people for better understanding between parties. I haven't kept in touch with many of my friends, classmates, class guest speakers, teachers, or professors. I avoid them in case I ever say something out of the ordinary, so my connection is quite small.

I know that hard work does accomplish something, but I'm not sure if it helped or would help me make my dreams come true. My dreams are to continue being able to read manga; go to conventions; reducing human impacts on the environment; having a detached home with enough land around it to grow vegetables; having enough money to pay bills and the mortgage; and living everyday with a job environment I enjoy, doing work I enjoy, and 7-12 hours of sleep. I hope I will have time to do all that.

I have [my own kind of] hard work covered, but without the proper resources like skills and connections, I'm not sure if I can live the simple life I want. But who knows, maybe everything will work out.

_{Top image from Yankee-kun and Megane-chan by Miki Yoshikawa, chapter 169: scanlated by Yankee Goon Scans.}