The Open Road Ahead

Do you know what I think about almost everyday? "It's tough being an anime-manga fan," is what. Anime, manga, and comic goods are generally expensive when the prices are added up. Always wanting that next graphic novel volume, and deciding whether or not it's worth buying it at the cost of a decent meal, but it's not because of these factors that make me think about that line everyday: it's my wonder of what the future may hold.

After 18 years of being in school, I am finally near the end of my [expected] last school term... and I'm scared. I used to be confident at the end of each school year because I believed that as long as I worked hard, I could get to the next level or grade. Now, I don't know what that next level is. I didn't apply to a masters program because I knew that I'd eventually have to face the workforce, and the sooner the better. I need real everyday time-repeated-warp-like experience instead of studying and reading about all these different jobs and positions people hold. Given how much of an idiot I am, however, I may not land one of these jobs or positions.

You see, I haven't mass volunteered, been in internships, or held a job like my fellow classmates have these past 8 years of secondary to post-secondary school. I'm not as jaw-dropping amazing and hardworking as they are, so my resume wouldn't be as exciting as theirs. I've spent as much time on reading graphic novels and sleeping as I have on school.

Aside from an exciting resume, my main concern lies with my skills and connections. Many of my classmates are able to understand concepts and create solutions easily and quickly, while I take a long time to accomplish anything. I've worked with other students before: it took me an hour to write a page while it took them half of that time. My writing style's also very simple. ... At least, I believe it is. Being someone who likes to shut them-self in their room also doesn't help with the type of field I studied in. I'm not a good people person. I get nervous when I have to talk to people. I overreact when I talk. Environmental studies requires communication between people for better understanding between parties. I haven't kept in touch with many of my friends, classmates, class guest speakers, teachers, or professors. I avoid them in case I ever say something out of the ordinary, so my connection is quite small.

I know that hard work does accomplish something, but I'm not sure if it helped or would help me make my dreams come true. My dreams are to continue being able to read manga; go to conventions; reducing human impacts on the environment; having a detached home with enough land around it to grow vegetables; having enough money to pay bills and the mortgage; and living everyday with a job environment I enjoy, doing work I enjoy, and 7-12 hours of sleep. I hope I will have time to do all that.

I have [my own kind of] hard work covered, but without the proper resources like skills and connections, I'm not sure if I can live the simple life I want. But who knows, maybe everything will work out.

_{Top image from Yankee-kun and Megane-chan by Miki Yoshikawa, chapter 169: scanlated by Yankee Goon Scans.}