Thursday

In the morning I found out that I had scheduled exams on the majority of the days of an event I wanted to attend to. I was frustrated because I was looking forward to the event since last summer. I made a battle plan and found a friend that will help me with being able to attend. I'm not sure if everything will work out though, so I was still frustrated.

I got to my morning class with my lame excuse of an assignment, ready to hand-in, but when I got there there was a test waiting to be given back to me. When I looked at the comments and grades from the teacher I felt like a failure. Of course I would feel like a failure considering I failed it. I didn't want it to bother me so after class I chucked it into the back of my bag and hoped that I would have time to review whatever it was that I didn't understand.

In the afternoon I relived my fear of public speaking. Usually I would be fine with speaking in front of an audience, but there are times when I get extremely nervous. I had a presentation for another class and I couldn't stop trembling, blushing, and staggering in my speech through out out my part. It was a group project too, and I was afraid of making the presentation awful. The audience gave away on how boring I was. They weren't looking up, and were either looking out into space, concentrating on their laptops, or text messaging on their cellphones. Nice. When it got to my group members' parts, the audience paid attention. I planned to never attend the class again, but there's a second presentation with a larger audience for the same project in 2 weeks. So I felt depressed.

That evening I attended an anime club meeting. The people there know how to make others laugh, and thanks to them I felt at ease. I didn't think I could laugh happily so soon after that presentation. I wanted to give them all hugs, but it would be abnormal and would most likely creep them out. I feel fine now, but I know that once next Thursday comes along I'll feel tense from those classes again. The only thing I've been looking forward to on Thursdays are meeting with friends and that evening club.